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ECH Torrens Court Independent Retirement Living residents Ray (99) and Marj (98) celebrated their 77th wedding anniversary last Thursday. Picture: Supplied.

‘Never go to bed angry’: aged care residents share love story

South Australian aged care residents Ray and Marj were just teenagers when they met on a train speeding towards a party in the beachside town of Semaphore.

"He made the first move by asking me to go out with him to his band practice on a Sunday," Marj, who is now 98, told Aged Care Insite.

"And from then on, we became an item."

When World War II broke out in , Ray enlisted in June 1942 and trusted that the relationship was strong enough to overcome the distance.

They kept in touch for the entire four years apart.

 "I remember we wrote often," Marj said. 

"That's all the boys wanted – a letter."

Ray briefly returned in 1944 while on leave from active service and asked Marj to marry him.

On 1946 February 9th, they were wed and celebrated the day with family and close friends.

It was the happiest day of their lives.

"I remember standing at the end of the aisle watching this auburn-haired vision coming towards me," Ray reminisced.

They travelled to Port Elliot and Mount Gambier for their one-month honeymoon, where Ray introduced Marj to crayfish.

"I spent the entire honeymoon putting calamine lotion on her hives because she was allergic to the crayfish," Ray laughed.

After buying their first house, they raised five children who later had 'countless' grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

The couple adores seeing their family and tries to meet as often as possible.

"We like to do everything together," Ray said.

He retired at 60 and started looking for a hobby with Marj to enjoy the abundance of free time.

"We tried out golf, but it wasn't the sport for me," Ray said.

"Then, we went to a dancing class and fell in love."

Marj used to dance when she was 14 and was thrilled to pick up her dancing shoes again.

Ray was also familiar with music and rhythm as he used to play in a band – the same band he took Marj to on their first date.

"We have a matching rhythm and feeling for dance," the couple shared.

"It is good for your health and keeps your brain active too."

They travelled through Australia in a caravan – stopping to dance at RSLs, country clubs and Senior Citizens Clubs along the way.

The couple also taught dancing for fifteen years and used to tear up the dance floor five times a week.

Now, nearly forty years later, they're still dancing with unchanged enthusiasm. 

Every Tuesday and Saturday night, you can find Marj and Ray on the floor swinging to their favourite tunes: the Waltz, American dances and the Fox Trot.

"We're still keen; we enjoy it and have lots of fun," Marj said.

"We hope we can continue for a few more years until Ray stops driving."

Ray and Marj moved into ECH Torrens Court Independent Retirement Living home 27 years ago when they downsized. 

"We love it here," Marj said.

"We love the sense of community in the village and have gained many friends over the years.

"Everyone is charming and very friendly."

Aged Care Insite asked their secret to a long and loving marriage.

"Never go to bed angry with one another," the couple said.

"And always talk to each other."

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One comment

  1. Oh their precious little faces! That photo radiating so much love and care, their story, and their journey through life together made me cry, happy tears of course. The formula isn’t that hard, is it? Actually, it is beautifully simple. Ray and Marj grew a family together and had the joy of continuously seeing it bear ever more fruit, they still dance and make merry together, take time to talk with each other – and my favourite – Never go to bed angry. God bless you Ray and Marj – my hope for you is that you never ever have to be apart again, that when – no doubt still a long time into the future, it is your time to leave here, it will be on the same day at the same time, drawing the same last breath—holding hands in your sleep. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

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